And now Richard, a man I’d met exactly twice, didn’t want me at dinner in the house I’d just bought for his daughter.
“Excuse me, dear. Are you okay? You look upset.”
An old woman stood next to me. Her cart was full of food for a big meal. Pictures of her family were on her phone cover.
“I’m fine,” I said.
My voice sounded funny, like it belonged to someone else.
“Just remembered something I need to do.”
I looked at my phone again. The little line blinked in the empty box, waiting for me to be smart enough to know what to say.
Instead, I just typed one word.
“Okay.”
Sent it.
My shopping cart sat where I left it. Pumpkins and fresh green beans already picked out, already useless. I walked out the door into the parking lot. The afternoon sun felt different now. Too bright, like it was showing me something I didn’t want to see.
Inside my car, I put the purple notebook on the seat next to me. All those papers. Six years of not buying things for myself. One text message.
My hands grabbed the steering wheel tight. The screen on my phone cracked a tiny bit at the corner. I didn’t even know I was squeezing it so hard. The crack spread out like a little tree branch. Small, but it would stay there forever.
I sat there for a long time, maybe 15 minutes, maybe longer. Time felt slow and sticky. Other people came and went, loading their groceries, driving away, coming back for more. Through my windshield, I could see people inside the store pushing carts, picking food, planning holidays with families who loved them.
My phone buzzed again. Danny was calling. I watched his name flash on the screen. One ring, two rings, three rings, then it stopped. He’d call again. They always did when they needed something.
I started my car but didn’t drive anywhere. Just sat there with the engine running, looking at that purple notebook. Inside were papers that gave away a house I’d bought with my retirement money. Money from my job at the school for 25 years. All of it wrapped up and handed over to a son who couldn’t even tell his wife’s father that his own mother should be invited to dinner.
